North & South
Wednesday
I can't really remember what happened before we got to Wellington, but Ben picked us up and cooked us a lovely meal and we slept in actual beds and it was so dreamy.
Thursday
We went into the city centre and checked out the galleries and museums. We chatted to a volunteer in the portrait gallery who grew up in Sutton and went to Wally Boys. He is in his seventies and bought up the St Phil's uniform, so fearsome is its reputation. We had a great buffet lunch and offered to cook Ben dinner. We then discovered Cuba Street, a dive bar and happy hour so plans changed. We did have delicious ice cream later on at the harbour tho.
Friday
I mean, the less said about Friday the better. We got a ferry to the South Island and it was misty. There was torrential rain at Abel Tasmin - named after the intrepid traveller who promptly got eaten by mauris - and I kept losing at Shithead.
Saturday
In the morning we went to the most beautiful spot, the name of which I can't remember, and spotted the biggest eels ever, one of which bit a girl. We then arrived in Westport. The weather was effing beautiful so we hot footed it to the beach! It then started raining and was apocalyptic, so we went home, played Scrabble with Tom & James who were drinking Pinot Noir and eating blue cheese, and felt very civilised and smug.
Sunday
It may have been the best Sunday of my life. It was thirty degrees and there were no clouds in the sky. We did three amazing walks, saw baby seals, pancake rocks and a waterfall. We went to a beach and paddled in the sea. Al suffered a traumatic fall on a mountain so invested was she in our favourite game, bottle catching, but she was the bravest of babies and soldiered on. At a pit stop, we squeezed in a couple of cheekies in the boiling sun. We then arrived at Lake Maniphua, a place I love so much I can't even spell it. We all went down to the lake and took a dip, came back, jumped in the hot tubs, had a delicious home cooked dinner and went down to the beach with Taylor to watch the sunset. It was then disco time. The theme of the evening was heroes and villains, so Al wrote 'Villain of fancy dress' on a label, so great is her hatred of enforced fun and jollity. We were obviously in our element on the dance floor, we kicked it all off and finished it just as quickly when Taylor played. Al also saw some glow worms.
Monday
I think we came straight to Franz Josef? Had a delicious breakfast at the unspellable lake, which Al immediately bastardised by requesting ketchup on Scotch pancakes. We were reunited with most of the old gang, most importantly our oldest and closest friend Haz, who was on top form. He handed us his foot blister skin, filled us in on all the goss and made someone cry. After telling Al that I was taking it easy after Sunday's sesh, I got white girl wasted in true Lander style. Its £2.50 for a glass of sav and you just can't argue with those prices. I spoke to Andrea, our bus driver/love of my life about Taylor for about seventy years, made Harry do shots with me, told the DJ the music was shit, that I was basic and then requested Drake. The crowd loved it. Al also saw more glow worms.
Tuesday
I was a broken woman. We did some washing that seemed to take forty years, ate some raisins, lay down, but did have a lovely chat with Roch. We then did a ten mile walk with Taylor. It was the most rejuvenating thing ever and the glacier was insane. We also remembered that Brand New exist and had a brilliant singalong. We spotted a man wearing the best tourist T-shirt ever so went on a furious hunt to find it. The shapes we had thrown on the walk were so fabulous, af man in a shop we popped in to asked if we had enjoyed our road dance. Unable to find the top, we went for a drink defeated and broken. I then somehow managed to cook dinner at the same time as about 400 people, and we started chatting to someone who recommended we try one last place and we found the fucking t-shirts! We are both wearing them tomorrow like the basic bitches we are. We went to the pub and then I died, goodbye.
I can't really remember what happened before we got to Wellington, but Ben picked us up and cooked us a lovely meal and we slept in actual beds and it was so dreamy.
Thursday
We went into the city centre and checked out the galleries and museums. We chatted to a volunteer in the portrait gallery who grew up in Sutton and went to Wally Boys. He is in his seventies and bought up the St Phil's uniform, so fearsome is its reputation. We had a great buffet lunch and offered to cook Ben dinner. We then discovered Cuba Street, a dive bar and happy hour so plans changed. We did have delicious ice cream later on at the harbour tho.
Friday
I mean, the less said about Friday the better. We got a ferry to the South Island and it was misty. There was torrential rain at Abel Tasmin - named after the intrepid traveller who promptly got eaten by mauris - and I kept losing at Shithead.
Saturday
In the morning we went to the most beautiful spot, the name of which I can't remember, and spotted the biggest eels ever, one of which bit a girl. We then arrived in Westport. The weather was effing beautiful so we hot footed it to the beach! It then started raining and was apocalyptic, so we went home, played Scrabble with Tom & James who were drinking Pinot Noir and eating blue cheese, and felt very civilised and smug.
Sunday
It may have been the best Sunday of my life. It was thirty degrees and there were no clouds in the sky. We did three amazing walks, saw baby seals, pancake rocks and a waterfall. We went to a beach and paddled in the sea. Al suffered a traumatic fall on a mountain so invested was she in our favourite game, bottle catching, but she was the bravest of babies and soldiered on. At a pit stop, we squeezed in a couple of cheekies in the boiling sun. We then arrived at Lake Maniphua, a place I love so much I can't even spell it. We all went down to the lake and took a dip, came back, jumped in the hot tubs, had a delicious home cooked dinner and went down to the beach with Taylor to watch the sunset. It was then disco time. The theme of the evening was heroes and villains, so Al wrote 'Villain of fancy dress' on a label, so great is her hatred of enforced fun and jollity. We were obviously in our element on the dance floor, we kicked it all off and finished it just as quickly when Taylor played. Al also saw some glow worms.
Monday
I think we came straight to Franz Josef? Had a delicious breakfast at the unspellable lake, which Al immediately bastardised by requesting ketchup on Scotch pancakes. We were reunited with most of the old gang, most importantly our oldest and closest friend Haz, who was on top form. He handed us his foot blister skin, filled us in on all the goss and made someone cry. After telling Al that I was taking it easy after Sunday's sesh, I got white girl wasted in true Lander style. Its £2.50 for a glass of sav and you just can't argue with those prices. I spoke to Andrea, our bus driver/love of my life about Taylor for about seventy years, made Harry do shots with me, told the DJ the music was shit, that I was basic and then requested Drake. The crowd loved it. Al also saw more glow worms.
Tuesday
I was a broken woman. We did some washing that seemed to take forty years, ate some raisins, lay down, but did have a lovely chat with Roch. We then did a ten mile walk with Taylor. It was the most rejuvenating thing ever and the glacier was insane. We also remembered that Brand New exist and had a brilliant singalong. We spotted a man wearing the best tourist T-shirt ever so went on a furious hunt to find it. The shapes we had thrown on the walk were so fabulous, af man in a shop we popped in to asked if we had enjoyed our road dance. Unable to find the top, we went for a drink defeated and broken. I then somehow managed to cook dinner at the same time as about 400 people, and we started chatting to someone who recommended we try one last place and we found the fucking t-shirts! We are both wearing them tomorrow like the basic bitches we are. We went to the pub and then I died, goodbye.
I have immediately scrolled down to comment on how crazy it is you met someone from Sutton! LIFE IS CRAZY! I'll read the rest now.
ReplyDeleteBravest of babies!
ReplyDeleteSHOW US THE T-SHIRTS!!
ReplyDeleteT SHIRT PIC PLS
ReplyDelete